It’s been about three weeks since “the phone call,” and my first goal has been to find out more about Mom’s physical and mental health. She had issues with balance caused by an inner ear condition, so she was scheduled for therapy and routine medication checks from her primary care physician. Unfortunately, her current doctor was moving out of the area, so I needed to find her a new doctor. Since my son works for one of the hospitals in our town, we could see a highly recommended physician nearby.
On the day of the appointment, a cognitive test was given. As my mom struggled to replicate shapes and subtract numbers, I was unnerved at the rate that my mom’s memory had suffered. In past months, she had told me that she believed her cognition was very good – when comparing herself to the other residences at her senior independent apartment building. When asked what the date was, she answered that it was a Monday but could not remember what month it was. “It’s February, right?” as she looked at me. I wondered what was going through her mind. If it were me, I would be frightened and frustrated that I could not figure out or remember calculations that I once took for granted. I would worry about what laid ahead.
In caring for an aging parent, there exists a constant attempt to create a balance. I don’t want to embarrass her by telling the doctor about a lap in memory. However, I need to be honest with them about problems concerning her safety. Like many of the elderly, my mother takes several meds. After querying her, I noticed difficulty in remembering how many to take and at what times of the day. Her physician suggested her pharmacy package the meds in daily “bubble” packs, which would clearly state at which time of day to be taken. I called to switch to a pharmacy that processes these packs. As an additional safeguard, I have asked for the daily medication distribution “service,” which her senior living facility provides by one of the nurses on staff.
Another part of having balance is keeping my mother’s fears and confusion to a minimum, in other words, keeping as many things in her life as the same. The director of her apartment said that her apartment is not in the “assisted living” section, but if she needed full assisted living services, they would still be available to her. Currently, my mom does not require cleaning and linen services, so I was very thankful that she could stay in her same apartment, which has become a familiar home.
